Feeling like a wounded child in an adult body. Where is the child in me, why do I cry and hide? The only sense of anything real is the pain from the shame that I feel. So I kneel and wrap my arms not showing my face from the shame and pain! Perhaps both due to the betrayal, the abuse, the gross neglect from those who were suppose to keep me safe and secure from this shame caused by childhood pain. Stuck in that little body not knowing this pain would become shame in the years to come, keeping me boxed in that little child-like mold. So I say today, no more shame, as I unwrap the layers of pain which frees me from all the childhood shame. Shawn Lovely Saxton
The invisible family that you don’t see under the tree, the man way in the back, and the single mother with the new born baby girl sitting in the front. These people are homeless, and we look at them everyday like they don’t exist. Actually, there’s no one in this picture. That’s how we look at homeless people we see everyday; like they’re not there. They die in this weather and sometimes never get identified until another season. This is the Season that we rejoice and celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ. Yet, someone is homeless as you shop. So buy an extra gift while you’re shopping for your loved ones, give to the homeless family under the tree, the man in the back, or the single mother with the baby girl. Homelessness isn’t always a choice. Pray for the protection of being homeless. Remember what the reason is for the Season. Shawn Lovely Saxton
It’s sad that just when I thought it was safe – To talk to my 13 yr old son about the birds and the bees and the flowers and the trees, I have to digress (I do that sometimes), because we’ve regressed – as a nation. I have to explain to my son, in a round about way, without actually saying this and disrespecting the way – I’ve taught him to be when addressing or looking at law enforcement or those in authority over him – again I digress. Because now I have to tell him that ,”SOME that have sworn to serve and protect you might actually kill you”. (Him) “Why?” (Me) “Just because son”. Now I know he won’t question me because I don’t play that and he’s conditioned to believe me; but I have to prepare for the look on his face that will ask “Why”. I too stand with the same question – “Why?” and saying “because I told you so” – well, it just doesn’t fit the parameters of answering this “Why?” question. Like I said, normally asking – or suggesting to redirect my attention into a reposition of the directive – or even thinking about questioning what I said – would call for some swift straightening. But now I have to – tell him I sorta kinda – well – I lied. Not because I wanted to, but because life has a way of – I guess coming full circle. Because, this is how I see it. The same fears my great grandmother had for my grandfather some 100 years ago (1916) are the same fears I have for my sons. My grandfather fought in a war that he did not create and wasn’t even about him. Truth be told, he was treated no different upon his return. My great grandfather helped build a school that his children couldn’t attend, but would one day be the same halls of education for his grandchildren and their children. Some might say that’s justice served. (I told ya’ll that I digress) My grandmother has lived long enough to not be able to vote as a woman and as an African-American, to now having had the opportunity to not only vote for (twice) but to see an African American President and now a viable female candidate to accept the nomination for Presidency. Some might say that’s justice served. I can call out their names (not really because there are too many), and we can claim to stand for justice so that we don’t fall for anything. But whether we stand or sit, hands up or down by our side, whether we’re forced down on the ground or laying in a jail cell – we’re dead, because they shoot us. Is it us against them or them against us, are you reaching for your wallet or carrying a toy gun. Are they going to pull out the police reports and dig deep into your past, to pull up what – because the fact of the matter is – we’re still dead. I told my sons, I can’t make those phone calls to their father, biological mother, grandmother, aunts, uncles, and tell them that something happened on my watch. I gave the disclaimer – I digress, and sometimes I ramble. So yeah, #hashtag the #hashtag, I’m done… #P.S. (Who really does that anymore – I just did) So much was said, and maybe not much at all. But what are we really saying at the end of the day. Are these isolated incidences? Is this all a bad dream or really the opposite of The Dream? I dare to say that it’s more like a nightmare to those mothers, wives, and children that have lost their men, and women. I don’t write as a social activist, as a protester, or even a police hater (real talk: I love the police). I stand as a mother on the verge of making a decision. Ok, I’m done… #P.S.S. (Maybe I’m not done) #Disclaimer: I am not insighting a protest, volunteering to protest, or even march. Do I believe that horrible decisions were made and triggers were pulled too easily – absolutely yes. Do I support good police officers – absolutely yes. Do I think there needs to be some policy changes – absolutely yes. So, #Hashtag this: #WeNeedToSitDownAndTalk #Done #HashtagMyHashtag Shanterra R. Bruce
Disclaimer: this is a post about pregnancy loss, it may not be for everyone and I’m good with that; you may not read it, but listen to the song – it’s a really good song; if you know someone that has had a loss (recent or not) share this with them – it might help. I was encouraged to write this after watching a segment about Hillary Scott (you know her, probably not; but she’s the lead singer from Lady Antebellum) concerning her pregnancy loss last Fall. This is a powerful song about miscarriage. Yeah, it can be used in the context for any struggles that we may have in life. But Hillary Scott wrote this song specifically about her miscarriage last fall. This is not your typical country song where if you sing it backwards you get all your stuff back. Unfortunately, for those of us that have had losses or have struggled with infertility – there is no amount of money or celebrity status that will keep it from happening to us, that can explain, or help us understand the why. There are great interviews that Hillary has done regarding this song and the struggles of her miscarriage (The Insider, Good Morning America); among many other celebrities that have faced pregnancy losses. There are even interviews with doctors that really can’t provide a solid answer about why. Sadly, all we are really left with is those four words – Thy.Will.Be.Done. The sting of pregnancy loss does not ever go away, it may become dull during some seasons of life, but the stinger remains in our hearts, and the itch remains in our empty arms. This may not be and is not the philosophy of all that have had a loss. I know it’s hard to believe that a loving God would take away such a precious gift or that this is truly His will for loving couples that desire to have children. I understand that stinger of His will is buried a lot deeper than the emotional stinger. But today I choose to stand on Thy.Will.Be.Done. Perhaps you’ve read all the way to the end – humbly I say thank you. I pray these words and this song will help someone. Besides, isn’t that what Social Media is all about. #Thywillbedone + #iamshan = #He>i #Jesusmath Love, Noah Jabez’s mom – S. Bruce 6/20/16 P.S. Need a support group or resources for support – you are not alone. I can be reached at NOAHJABEZ@HOTMAIL.COM specifically about Preganancy Loss questions, concerns, and support. I don’t have all the answers, but I have an ear to listen and shoulder to lean on.
WHO IS NONE LOST MOVEMENT None Lost Movement Ministry – founded to honor the founders bio- logical mother who passed away due to domestic violence in 2013. We are made up of a body of abuse survivors who would like to make sure victims of childhood abuse, and domestic violence – no longer feel alone in the midst of their pain. Together, we are here to bring education, awareness, and healing through our conferences, counseling services and outreach services to ages 4 and up, throughout the Tampa Bay Area. We are able to operate under the Underground Network, (http://tampaunderground.com/none-lost) in Tampa and operate under their 501 C (3). SERVICES WE OFFER Individual & Family Therapy (In – Home Service) Group Therapy Outreach Services ( Real Talks, Teen Rap & Conferences) Motivational Speaking “FOR EVERY SEASON” Everything you went through under the sun up until now wasn’t in vain. There was a purpose in the season of emotional, physical, mental, sexual and financial abuse. From the time you was born, the spirit realm was on notice. You was chosen for your assignment. In order to have said it was finished, JESUS became a part of the race. In other words, he took on flesh and endured the abuse until the end of His Season….. Ecc (3) 1-3 : “To everything there is a Season, and a time to every purpose under the heavens: V2. A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant and a time to pluck up that which was planted; V3. A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up”. – By Shawn Lovely Saxton MEET THE TEAM Nicole Marchman, MSW Founder & CEO Nicole Marchman, is a foster care alumnus. She is a survivor of sexual and physical abuse, as well as domestic violence. Most of Nicole’s life was spent dealing with various traumas. She en- dured the pain and anger from the hands of her biological par- ents, the rejection and betrayal from foster families that were supposed to provide her a safe haven, and then finally survived the hurt and isolation brought on by an abusive husband. She became an expert at navigating and surviving the cycle of abuse. She is the definition of resilient. Nicole was determined to better her life and ensure that her past did not predict her future. She found her voice and her message. Her story is inspirational and she is dedicated to sharing her testimony with others across the globe. Nicole earned her Bachelor of Social Work (BSW) from USF and her Masters of Social Work (MSW) from Florida State. As a Social Worker, Nicole traveled to children’s homes in the Czech Republic and Trinidad & Tobago to study their foster care system and compare it to United States Child Welfare System. Additionally, Nicole became a state-wide, national and interna- tional advocate for foster children and lobbied for various chang- es within the foster care system in Washington, D.C. Nicole spe- cifically advocated for kinship care and better services for youth aging out of foster care. Nicole believes in paying it forward. She has proven this by furthering her passion of changing the lives of foster children, by becoming a foster parent, being a voice to victims of domestic violence and childhood abuse and their fami- lies by establishing None Lost Movement Ministry. And find a way to quickly drop in and out of your content. White space gives the user an opening into your information. Don’t be afraid to leave spaces open. Shan Bruce Director Shanterra R. Bruce is a native Floridian from Miami where she was born and raised. Having many mentors in her young and adult life, she has not been short of receiving encouragement and motivation to mature into the woman that God has called her to be. Shan counts it a blessing to be a blessing to others in her life; especially young people that she comes in contact with from church, work, and the community. As an educator in a pri- vate Christian school, she realizes the importance of guarding this next generation not just in the natural, but also in the spir- itual. Shan believes that sometimes being a survivor means that God may have spared you from the physical scars of abuse in the natural battle, but that does not excuse you fighting the spiritual war. She wars for the victor that’s inside of every vic- tim. Shan has a Bachelor’s Degree in Sociology from USF, lives in Clearwater with her husband of 4 years – Anthony, and their 2 sons Vontrell and Arron. Shawn Saxton Vice President Shawn Saxton is a survivor of domestic violence and holds a MBA, Bachelors in Criminal Justice, certifications in Domes- tic Violence, HIV/AIDS and Substance abuse. She is the Vice President of None Lost Movement. Ms. Saxton was called to work in the Social Work field over 30 years not knowing that this is what the LORD would have to do with any formal education. Over the period of working in the field, she has worked with children in foster care & crimi- nal justice systems, substance abuse facilities and re-entry programs. Her passion stems from her journey from her child- hood to early adulthood experiences: Molestation, teen-age mother, drugs & 13 years domestic violence. However today she refuses to wear any of these labels that try to attach themselves to her and is determined to help others heal from their trauma. Contact Us Referral Line 904-479-8558 Email firstname.lastname@example.org Website www.nicolemarchman.com Facebook https://m.facebook.com/ nonlostmovementministry
The fire is purifying you – child of God. It might seem hot and lonely now right now. But stay in the Fire, you are being refined as it gets hotter; you are growing and being made to my perfection, not yours saith the LORD. Being a servant means you won’t always be seen, heard, understood, or even accepted. Stay where I have set you in the Fire. You are set apart for My glory. You are not to be a part of what I did not mean for you to join up with. I have anointed you for what I have for you, fire. You are set apart my daughter. By Shawn Lovely Saxton: 5/18/16
- Sitting in the Nail shop with 12 other women, different nationalities, culture and backgrounds to include 1 lil girl. Women are on their Smart phone, talking to one another and the baby girl that doesn’t seem to have a care in the world. I wonder how many of the 12 women had or is currently experiencing Domestic Violence in their life time? Would this lil girl be the one to escape this plague? It seems everyone has on a Mask trying to escape! Only to go back to a place of abuse and danger. Yet they are talking, laughing and actually crying on the inside. A picture that expresses so much, yet we smile only to be torn inside with no immediate escape. We never want anyone to know it’s us – me – you that’s being held in a World of Domestic Abuse.